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There’s nothing wrong with having hot dogs for breakfast

By JACK GODBEY

I have always found it strange that we put rules on what type of food we can eat and when. Since my first day of school way back in 1974, the school system has beat it into my head that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. However, that seems to come with conditions.

It appears that only certain foods are considered acceptable for breakfast. 

Sure, I can have pancakes for breakfast and no one bats an eye. However, if I had a piece of cake for breakfast which is basically the same ingredients, people would look at me as if I was the poster boy for diabetes. 

It seems acceptable if I have a slice of sausage for breakfast. Yes, the food police have deemed that as normal breakfast foods. However, if I ate a hotdog in the mornings for breakfast, which is similar in nutritional value, I would be looked at as weirder than a three-humped camel.

Many people are in a rush in the mornings and don’t take time to eat breakfast at all. Some grab something while they are going out the door such as a cup of yogurt and try to eat it in the car.  Have you read the label of yogurt? It may be marketed as a health food but it is full of that demon substance we call sugar. Oh yes, if someone wants to eat a yogurt laced with sugar they are fine and yet I’m out of line if I eat a bowl of ice cream at six in the morning? Such judgement.  

You can walk into any office in the country at 8 a.m. and find a box of freshly made donuts sitting in the breakroom free for the taking. Why doesn’t anyone ever buy a box of hot dogs and bring them to work to pass out freely? I might actually take them up on that one. 

Parents will often tell their children they cannot eat that bag of Skittles for breakfast and then turn around and pour a bowl of sugary cereal without a second thought.

The only thing lucky about a bowl of Lucky Charms is if you are lucky enough not to eat it. 

Didn’t the forefathers of this country write the Constitution so that I could be free to eat a slice of pizza for breakfast if I wanted to? Why can I only eat eggs for breakfast? I’m a huge fan of eggs and enjoy them anyway you can fix them but I’d like to decide when that time is. 

It seems that many fast food restaurants pride themselves on serving breakfast anytime while others have that 10:30 a.m. cut off time when they stop cooking eggs and start frying hamburgers. 

I didn’t know what to do recently when I arrived at a restaurant at 10:35 a.m. I went ahead and ordered breakfast and was told that I was in luck because there were some leftover breakfast items.

I explained that since I wasn’t paying leftover prices I didn’t want leftover food; I would like some fresh eggs. That went over about as well as a crying baby in church. 

I didn’t budge on my stance and the cashier called for the manager. When he came out, he looked like a NFL linebacker. By the look on his face, he was in no mood to discuss my situation and asked me what the problem was.

I broke down faster than a dollar store lawn chair and said, “I’ll have a hamburger please.”